So often we focus on how we can make other people change, and we forget the most powerful tool we can use is to focus on ourselves. By that, we can be a shining example of the way of life we would like to lead, both for ourselves and those we love. This will be the most powerful way you can affect someone else.
I have had so many people come to me saying: “I want to eat more vegetables”, or “I really want to go vegan, but my family never will, and it just will be too hard.” By thinking this way, we teach others that they come first, and we come last. Now that doesn’t feel good, does it? The most important thing to realize is that we can’t make other people change, we only have the power to change ourselves.
So, what do you do?
The simple answer is to focus on your own health and becoming the best person you can be. By honoring your desires to do the things you know is right for you, you can serve as an inspiration for others to do the same. You can show your family that you are a capable, dedicated and determined person who values health, and that you are an enlightened person who wants the best for yourself, as well as for your family and friends.
Whether you have a son is refusing to eat vegetables, a life partner who is a dedicated meat and potato lover, or a daughter who won’t eat fruit, it doesn’t matter. Make it less about them, and all about you for now. Remember that change is scary for most people, and when they see a pattern change in someone they love, that’s sometimes will be threatening and that’s when resistance happens.
That said, there are still some things you can do indirectly, to influence your loved ones. Whether it is your family members, your colleagues and co-workers or friends, here are some tips on how to ease their mind and help get them on board with your new way of living and eating:
1 Learn how to make delicious vegan meals
Meals don’t have to be complicated, but learning how to combine flavors in a successful way will take you far. A home-cooked meal is always popular and can also be a great way for you to bond with others. It will also be eye-opening for those who think vegan food is bland, boring or restrictive. Research food blogs, buy some vegan cookbooks and get inspired by surfing Instagram for ideas on colorful and creative plant-based dishes. Some of my favorite blogs are Hot For Food, Vegan Richa, The First Mess, Minimalist Baker, and Blissful Basil.
2 Re-create familiar favorites
People love food, and most of us have strong feelings around meals we’ve grown up with. Start simple, by veganizing a dish such as spaghetti and meatballs. The meatballs can be made from lentils, nuts and /or mushrooms, and pasta and tomato sauce are typically already vegan. Make a veggie burger, whip up an easy stir fry or make some brownies, which can all easily be made with plant-based ingredients. People are looking for familiarity, something that will evoke memories and honor tradition surrounding these dishes. This can be a good start to opening your family up to vegan food. Once you’ve gained their trust, you can start experimenting more and creating new and exciting dishes for your family.
3 Don’t push your agenda or pass judgment on your family members for their choices
Nobody wants to feel they are less environmentally-conscious, unhealthy, or being told they don’t love animals. Honor that everyone is on their own journey, and just because you have “seen the light” doesn’t mean that everyone you love will have arrived where you are now (yet!). Rather, choose to share positive things you are experiencing, such as increased energy, glowing skin, new and exciting dishes you’re discovering, or invite them to go grocery shopping with you so they can feel included in your journey. Don’t alienate yourself, but at the same time, don’t overshare about every single thing either. Make your transition normal, fun and attractive to others as much as you are able to.
4 Get educated about plant-based nutrition
Once you decide to go vegan, everyone around you will become a nutritionist and be concerned about where you are getting your protein, iron, and calcium. True story, just ask any vegan. This is why it’s important to learn as much as you can to be prepared for questions that are bound to come up. Help spread what you’ve learned in a productive and positive way. Information is power. Websites like nutritionfacts.org, pcrm.org, and theveganrd.com are all reliable, neutral and well-researched sources for valuable nutritional information. Share your new knowledge in a friendly voice on social media, such as reliable articles highlighting the benefits of going vegan, document your own story, and post cute animal videos to help people make the connection that all animals are beautiful beings with personalities that want to live and be loved. Spread information in a non-combative voice with the intention to educate, not to lecture. Give people the benefit of the doubt that they have the ability to reason and to make their own choices.
5 Make vegan eating fun!
Organize a fun evening and serve up some delicious vegan snacks where you watch a documentary together such as Forks Over Knives, Vegucated, Food Matters or What The Health. Don’t select gory movies showing animal abuse or upsetting content, but rather something that will inspire them and might give them a different perspective on things. Often these films help put into words what you are trying to explain but can’t do as eloquently or effectively. This is a very effective way to bond with others, and I can’t begin to tell you how many people have told me they are going plant based after watching either of these documentaries.
With all of this said, I don’t want you to forget what I started this article with: This transformation is for you. Nobody else. You don’t have to eat the same thing as your kids, spouse or colleagues for them to love or like you. You don’t even have to make different meals at dinner time, because when you learn to make tasty, inviting looking meals, your family members will be curious and eventually want to try it out. Show them that plant-based food is just food, it’s nothing mysterious or complicated. In fact, they probably are already eating many vegan foods without thinking about labeling it as such (think hummus and pita bread, guacamole and chips, oatmeal, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches).
Many of the people I’ve worked with have experienced less resistance in their loved ones with time. One example is my client Valerie and how she miraculously got her two very picky teenage sons to love her plant-based meals. She didn’t achieve this by shoving salad under their nose, because as we all probably have experienced; forcing and pushing does not work. Rather, she told them that she was committed to this journey for herself and for her health and that they could eat whatever they want. Slowly but surely, they started getting curious about what she was eating and more open minded to trying new things. Soon they were even complimenting the meals, asking for seconds! This is a more effective method and one that will create lasting and true change within others. Make them decide for themselves - just like you have the power to decide for yourself.
In my experience, engaging rather than provoking is what will inspire others. Not everyone will want the same things at the same time, and that is ok. Encourage discussion, open dialogue and love. Combined with the five tips I’ve shared here, I believe harmony will ensue in your family and beyond!
